What does your society think of single parenting? One can only assume it is largely linked to how your society views things such as divorce and marriage. Less permissive societies may frown on single parents because they do not approve of divorce and hold on to beliefs of marriage being for life. Or they may also frown upon such family structures if they believe that a child has been born out of wedlock as a result of extramarital relations. But single parenting, which seen as taboo, can be good in cases. We would all agree that it would be better for a child to be raised in a stable environment than in a household where there are petty disagreements which degenerate into shouting matches and abuse. But before we happily go for single parenting, let us remind ourselves of the negative points too. Children may have to commute for long periods so that the parents enjoy access. They have to spend different days of the week in different places, and that is not stable. They may have to bear the remarks of those around them, and also wonder why their parents can’t work things out between themselves.
In Japan, a mother noted how being a single parent had an effect on her daughter. Her husband had left since the girl was young and had made no attempt at reconciliation, and the lack of a father figure at home was causing the girls anxiety among her peers and making her withdrawn. Perhaps she felt isolated when she was in the company of peers, because they would have both parents around, talk about their parents, as girls tend to do. The mother decided on taking the unusual step of hiring an actor to pretend to be the long-lost father who had suddenly reappeared on the scene and wanted to make a reconciliation. She noted that the girl’s confidence returned and she became more outgoing, so perhaps it was gamble worth taking.
Single parents may struggle to occupy their children and engage them in activities so it is often good for them to develop interests such as music. Learning the piano is a good idea because not only does it teach skills like co-operation, practise, repetition and drive, but practising at home – you may think this selfish – gives you time away from your child, which may be important for you, and important for them not to have you in their face all the time. The Piano Teacher N15 website suggests fifteen or twenty minutes practice three times a week, more if they are able to cope, so that’s a fair bit of time for your child to learn to become an independent learner!